"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please." (Mark Twain)

Friday, February 03, 2006

You've Got to Be a Random Hero (To Get Along With the Beautiful Girls) 

See, if you look at things just the right way, anything can be interpreted as a comment on this week's Super Bowl:
1. "Once In a Lifetime" (Talking Heads) - any Seahawks fan knows about this.

2. "Green Grass and High Tides" (Outlaws) - green Field Turf®, more like.

3. "That's Entertainment" (The Jam) - I'm told that, in the interstices between too-clever-by-half commercials, Aretha's "Star Spangled Banner," five old men performing a "tribute to the Rolling Stones," and someone announcing his plans to go to Disneyland, there will be a football game.

4. "Ballroom Blitz" (Sweet) - dedicated to the Steelers' Joey Porter.

5. "Tears of a Clown" (English Beat) - also dedicated to Joey Porter.

6. "Rich Girl" (Hall and Oates) - who you would have to be dating if you want tickets to see the game live.

7. "Shelter From the Storm" (Bob Dylan) - what quarterbacks Matt Hasselbeck and Ben Roethlisberger will need, if either one is to succeed against his opponent's underrated defense.

8. "Go Insane" (Lindsey Buckingham) - it's already started, as you can see.

9. "Do You Believe In Magic" (Lovin' Spoonful) - you're damned right I do!

10. "Games Without Frontiers" (Peter Gabriel) - but don't go out of bounds.

The remainder of today's posts will be dedicated to Super Bowl hype, naked Seattle partisanship, and beer. You've been warned.

 

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