"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please." (Mark Twain)

Friday, January 20, 2006

Chris Matthews Should Be Drawn and Quartered, and His Putrefying Remains Served to the Rats and Roaches 

And heaven forbid I tell you what I really think.

On Wednesday (Jan. 18), Matthews appeared on Imus in the Morning, where this charming exchange occurred:
IMUS: You look pretty good. I mean, I'm not working toward a Brokeback Mountain situation here, I'm just saying -- I remarked to Charles -- I said, "He looks pretty good to me."

MATTHEWS: I've been reading your comments. I don't think you're working in that direction.

[laughter]

IMUS: Well, I'm trying. So, Al Gore --

MATTHEWS: Have you seen it yet? Have you gone to see it yet? I've seen everything else but that. I guess --

IMUS: No, I haven't seen it. Why would I want to see that?

MATTHEWS: I don't know. I've no opinion on that. I haven't seen it either. So --

IMUS: So, they -- I don't know -- it was out when I was in New Mexico, and it doesn't resonate with the cowboys -- with the real cowboys who I know. So --

MATTHEWS: Yeah --

IMUS: But then, maybe there's stuff going on there, on the ranch, that I don't know about. Not on my ranch, but you know what I'm saying.

MATTHEWS: Well, the wonderful Michael Savage, who's on [WTNT AM] 570 in D.C., who shares a station with you at least, he said -- he calls it -- what's he call it? "Bareback Mounting." That's his name for the movie.

IMUS: Right. Of course, Bernard [McGuirk, Imus' executive producer] calls it "Fudgepack Mountain," but that's probably --

Oh, aren't we clever! "Fudgepack Mountain!" I'm dying from the scintillating wit on display here! And what was it that the "wonderful" Michael Savage (neé Michael Weiner) - you remember, the guy who tells gay listeners to go get AIDS and die - called it? "Bareback Mounting!" What a card!

So anyway - Matthews reveals in this exchange that he is a hateful little toad with the maturity of a junior high schooler, but that doesn't necessarily disqualify him as a CNN pundit. He went entirely too far yesterday, however, when he said that Osama bin Laden sounded like Michael Moore. There was no point to the comparison - you can watch it yourself, at Crooks and Liars - other than to take a gratuitous stab at Moore. Matthews is a punk-ass bitch, and a right-wing stooge, and a really, really sorry excuse for a journalist. He should simply shut up and get an honest job - something that suits him, like Official Boil Sucker to the Vice President.

If you have any doubt that the universe is fundamentally unfair, consider that Wilson Pickett is dead while Chris Matthews is still alive, using up valuable oxygen. Fuck that.

 

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