"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please." (Mark Twain)

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

The Man and His Plan 

Years ago, I produced an album for some friends of mine. It is now sadly out-of-print (and, I'm sure, highly collectible), but you can see the cover art and credits here. Anyway, on our first day in the studio, I walked into the tiny control booth (it was a little 8-track studio, which suited both our lo-fi, punk-folk aesthetic and our budget) and pulled a portfolio full of notes from my briefcase - the very same briefcase I now carry into court. The owner of the studio looked at my papers and asked what they were.

"Pre-production notes," I said, somewhat annoyed.

"Oh," the studio owner responded dryly, "that's good. It's important to have a plan to abandon."

Apparently, the Boy King would love to have a plan to abandon, because he keeps pretending that he does. He's had the same non-plan (stay the course, freedom's on the march, schools, purple fingers, last throes; repeat as necessary) ever since he declared the mission accomplished. There is no danger of him abandoning his plan, but it makes no difference because sticking with the plan has the same practical effect (i.e., nothing).

Anyway, he made his little speech again today, and unveiled his imaginary plan for the umpteenth time, pretending (as always) that he was actually saying something new or meaningful. If you're interested, you can read the transcript here - but why bother, when you can read this absolutely dead-on Readers' Digest version at Whatever It Is, I'm Against It? This version is shorter, more amusing, and comes with pictures - don't miss the last photo, showing the Annapolis middies in rapt attention. We feel their pain.




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