"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please." (Mark Twain)

Monday, May 09, 2005

New Frontiers in Self-Loathing 

I grew up in Hayden Lake, Idaho, so I have strong personal memories of Spokane, Washington. I saw my first rock concert there (Grand Funk Railroad with Wet Willie, 1974, thanks for asking), almost got busted there on at least one occasion, and I took my SAT's there. If you've never been, there are two things I can tell you about it: (1) It's really a beautiful city, in its own way, and (2) my favorite aunt and her wonderful husband aside (the jury is still out on my Uncle Dick, but his long-suffering wife is also excepted), it is largely populated by Neanderthals. And I say that with all due respect to the "evolutionarily challenged" segment of my readership.

Which is why I have been fascinated by the current controversy over the, shall we say, "indiscretions" of that famous faggot-hating cockgobbler, Spokane Mayor Jim West. I won't trouble you with a rundown of the story so far; it's well described here. I just want to note a couple of things in particular.

First, when are people going to recognize that this sort of wingnut hypocrisy and projection are the rule, rather than the exception? Rush and the "little blue ones," O'Reilly and his falafel, Henry Hyde and his mistress, Bill Bennett and his high rolling - the rule is simply stated: The more these clowns worry about other people's private lives, the more skeletons they have in their own closets. Along these lines, my new favorite is Neal Horsley, the anti-abortion bomb-thrower (speaking metaphorically, I think) who seems only slightly embarrassed to discuss his carnal knowledge of mules. Yeah, I'm gonna listen to to moral lectures from this guy!

Second, the real fun of the Jim West story is going to be in following the details. For instance, the latest installment seems to center around West's insistence that he never actually choked his chicken in the Mayor's office itself, despite the testimony of a city councilwoman to the contrary. Also, there is his bizarre love letter from afar, in which he pledges his troth to freshman Republican congresswoman Cathy McMorris, who responds (and I paraphrase here), "Eeeew! Ick!"

Someday soon, this guy will resign - and then we'll have to look a lot harder for our cheap laughs.




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